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March Journal, Quinquagesima Sunday

My novel, The Music of the Mountain, has received another endorsement, this one from the admirable writer in England, Francis Etheredge, bioethicist and theologian:

“In what is very nearly a dystopian novel, Christine Sunderland takes a much closer look at a person who encounters baptism. In this, the second of her books about a semi-mysterious mountain, she takes up the previous theme of hope amidst destructive trends in society. There are four people at the heart of the book. And, by contrast with an illegitimate, authoritarian, withering of justified dissent, these four are very much at the beating heart of both preserving and advancing a renewal from above.

So, the outer circumstances of the novel are as impenetrably destructive, as the inner group are personally engaged in the intimate struggle to love in the truth. At one point, while we know how each of the four have been affected by the cultural crisis in which they live, there is a pointed encounter between those living the inner life and those seeking to puncture it as abruptly, aggressively, and intimidatingly, as they are unjustified in doing so.

The book is about two men and two women, almost entailing the possibility of a double love story which, in a certain way, is unexpectedly but beautifully concluded. The elderly man, a widowed Anglo-Catholic priest  assists, like an emergency doctor, at the late but timely coming to Christ of an almost atheist, but probably agnostic professor of ethics who is wholly taken up into Christ. While the young man and woman, clearly taking a two stepped kiss to courtship, are equally traced through their first meeting to marriage and a family, albeit the latter is viewed from on High.

Just as the dialogue between those who love is intimately unfolding, just so there is an equally, painful incapacity to even talk, in those who execute the mandate to burn good books. Christine Sunderland’s novel expresses, in the likely reader’s tears, the very contrast between being open to the mystery of life and being hardened by the dictates of an impenitent hatred of what is good, true and beautiful.”

Endorsed by Francis Etheredge, Catholic married layman, father of 11, 3 of whom he hopes are in heaven, whose latest book is Transgenderism: A Question of Identityhttps://enroutebooksandmedia.com/transgenderism/.

Reading and writing and speech itself are gifts given by our God of love, part of the miracle of being human and made in His image. They are graces, mysterious and real, that express who we are and who we are meant to be. They sculpt and carve greater truths through metaphor, symbol, story, and character. And, at the end of the day, they tell us what love is by showing us love, dramatizing love, making love real.

Just so, today’s Epistle is the stunning ode to love that St. Paul writes to the Church in Corinth (I Corinthians 13+): “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal…” This poetic chapter describes the nature of love (charity), what it is and what it isn’t, with words that paint images to help us see: “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known…”

Sight is again repeated in the Gospel story of Christ healing a blind man. For that is what we are, blind, feeling our way through life, reaching for God, for Eternity, for Love. We know this intuitively but we must act upon it, sculpt our own souls with Christ himself.

And so we clean out our hearts, confess our sins, receive absolution, and step into Lent to rise on Easter Day. In this way we become part of the music, part of the hymn of love, speaking the words and singing the notes that pull us heavenward. In this way we learn to love as we are meant to love, and we become part of the mystery as we enter the miracle and see Him face to face. We are no longer blind, but can see.

February Journal, Sexagesima Sunday, the Octave of the Feast of St. Joseph of Arimathea

It’s a curious thing to submit a manuscript to a publisher, rather like sending your child out into the real world. My desk is mourning the characters and the mischief they get into, the hearts they break, the loves they discover, the lessons they learn, the past they confess. Stories grow with the telling and I’ve learned to use a period occasionally, a save button, or a send button. Takes courage to stop.

I fuss over the words like a mother fussing over packing, taking out, adding, then realizing it was better before the fussing. The storyline becomes convoluted and loses its natural rhythm, weaving in circles and landing in all the wrong places.

So I’ve learned to tell myself to stop fussing and send the book through the air to an office (a phone?) where strangers will examine and pass judgment. Then it’s on to another publisher, another submission.

I tell myself the times are changing, and our culture is finally admitting it needs serious literature that may not follow a formula, may not check all the boxes, may not virtue signal, but falls into the category of… could it be… art?

After all, companies are now disbanding DEI and ESG and other letters that live together in a strange manner. They are no longer terrified there will be protests/riots outside their offices or stores. Fear continues in blue states (here in California to be sure) but many national producers, be they be books or groceries or clothing, are not as concerned as they were before the election of President Trump, our common sense hero (CSH).

Nevertheless, I understand products need to sell, and literary novels generally do not, but fall into the loss category, the top of the pyramid, the fewer the better for the bottom line. The broad base of the pyramid is largely formula fiction, or nonfiction written by famous folks with platforms, which has its place among readers and will sell, given promotion by other stars with large fan clubs. This broad base does indeed support the more eccentric and literary endeavors at the top.

At the same time, there has been a great deal of wailing and gnashing of teeth over the cultural decline of America and what happened and can we change course? Is it too late?

 

 

 

 

So I offer my little novels celebrating the Judeo-Christian tradition and its moral demands to create a civil civilization, to live together peacefully. Heroes and heroines desire virtue and work to achieve some semblance of such. Responsibility and hard work and honesty are lauded: ideals I grew up with in the fifties, fictional accounts that examine the human condition, the nature of love and suffering and sacrifice. 

I do believe I have a calling to write; what happens to the resulting novels (my talkative children out there in the world) is up to others. I’m a good soldier or try to be, and seek the will of God, hoping/praying I hear the right answer. I think I hear his voice, feel his angels nudge me one way or another. One day I will find out for sure when I enter the gates of the New Jerusalem.

In the meantime, that is, in Earth time, Father Seraphim of Nazareth House Apostolate read a recent draft and gave me an endorsement:

“Thank you, thank you. This book cannot be read apart from wonderment and awe couched in the liminality of Love. You have told the truth that has brought forth freedom out of the quarrel and quandary of this present age. You told the truth, you have told the truth… In The Music of the Mountain there are no stop gaps, only the ongoing flow of Love that leads us and holds us into a Reality beyond, in our midst. Again and again, thank you.”

Fr. Seraphim, Elder Nazareth House Apostolate, Taylorsville, Kentucky

And two professional editors have had a go with the book, tweaking and suggesting, and I have taken (most) of their advice to heart. A fourth reader/writer is still out there… and we shall see what he thinks.

So God holds me in his palm. Can’t get better than that, as we enter Lent and travel to Jerusalem with Our Lord. Saint Joseph of Arimathea, the Apostle to England, planted his staff in Glastonbury and set in motion Western Civilization. Today we do the same, planting our staffs to save our world, one word at a time, one story at a time.

Deo gratias.

February Journal, Septuagesima Sunday

Today is the beginning of Pre-Lent, three Sundays that prepare us for Lent, which of course, prepares us for Easter and Resurrection Day.

In the wisdom of the Church we are ushered in slowly, as if we could not enter suddenly, jumping from one major feast day to another. And I have found that this slower pace allows us to live and breathe the season, to let the seriousness of the moment in our own time penetrate our souls, planting seeds we do not notice. The seasons of the Church Year thus live within us so that we can live them out together as Christians.

One could call it God’s marketing plan, soaking the faithful with profound truths too deep to absorb in one rain, then watering the seeds planted with care and prayer to blossom on that great festival. 

And so we allow Our Lord to garden within us, and part of that gardening is weeding, rooting out the weeds – the tares (last week’s lesson) – so that the good seeds will grow and flourish.

Today we learn that the tares are our sins, those times when we have not loved enough, as my bishop of blessed memory used to say. The Church gives us a list, however, which is most helpful for those of us who tend to wander from the path. We learn of virtues and vices; the Ten Commandments; the Summary of the Law. We have lists to check off as we examine the state of our souls. We are sorry and we repent, promising or at least trying to love more, enough, to exercise virtue and repel vice.

Pre-Lent thus prepares our souls to prepare our bodies during Lent. We consider in these weeks how to run the race, as St. Paul writes in his letter to the Corinthians, our Epistle today. We want that incorruptible crown by disciplining our bodies with our minds, taming our flesh with our spirits so that we may control what we do (or what we do not do) not only to ourselves but to others. And in the end, we learn to love.

Christians are like athletes in this sense. We repent in Pre-Lent so that we can fast and abstain in Lent, not for the purpose of losing weight or toning our physique, but to exercise our minds/spirits/souls to command our bodies, our flesh, our appetites.

I believe it was the Anglican writer Evelyn Underhill who said that the greatest fast or discipline is to face the full will of God in your life, and we can see how the taming of the soul in Pre-Lent and the subjection of the body in Lent would leave us in a better position to face that full will of God, to even know or recognize his will. I keep this in mind as fasting becomes more difficult in the senior years, as the body is frail and constantly under subjection.

But it is good to remember these things, and the seasons remind us of Heaven and who we are meant to be. Human beings need reminding, and rituals do this. Sunday rituals are the more obvious, attending Church regularly, keeping the Sabbath holy. Seasonal rituals sneak up on us, and yet arrive on time, given we have been faithful with the daily and weekly ones. 

God is building us. Making us. Recreating us. Clothing us with his garments of glory so that we will be ready for the wedding feast in Heaven. In the meantime, on this little planet Earth, we glimpse those glories, if we keep the law, repent breaking it, tame our passions, learn to love enough.

We call this growing in grace and it is a delightful mystery. If we have been blessed to begin this growing up-ward early in our time we experience more and more grace, glimpse greater and greater glory right here and now. If we begin this growing late in life, as the workers in today’s Gospel parable did, we are still welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven.

But isn’t it better to begin at once, now, if not yesterday? Isn’t it better to experience Christ daily, hourly, with each breath? Bathe me in your love, your glory, O Lord. We need only ask.

So we are reminded today to confess our faults. The big one is pride, for it is the root of all evil (not money) and begets the others. We are a proud people for we reflect our Creator, made in his image. We are royalty and demand obeisance. We are reminded today to put such pride away, to realize we are nothing without God, can do nothing without him. We are sorry, for pride has metastasized and has produced other evils separating us from God.

And so we take those baby steps toward our Maker. With each confession, with each repenting and turning away from the dark toward the light we grow in grace, in fullness, becoming who we are meant to be, fully human, fully children of God.

And we might love enough to enter the gates of the New Jerusalem and the Kingdom of Heaven. 

  • The Seven Deadly Sins: Pride, Covetousness, Envy, Anger, Sloth, Gluttony, Lust
  • The Theological Virtues: Faith, Hope, Charity (Love)
  • The Cardinal Virtues: Justice, Prudence, Temperance, Fortitude

February Journal, Fifth Sunday after Epiphany

It has been said, and I believe it to be true, that sports reflect human passions, both good and bad, and in a sense the playing field hosts the drama of life acted out as if on a stage. Two teams play today on this Super Bowl Sunday. They will work together in tandem to defeat the other, to tackle the other, to make that point. They are as fleet of foot as dancers, playing out their rehearsed moves to best the other.

Competition. There was a time when I thought competing wasn’t fair, since one side loses, and with the wokesters of the last few years we saw what happens when everyone gets a prize and no one wins by merit. (It is curious that sports still exist, and even more curious that all-male teams exist.) And so we hail football, where talent can still claim the day.

Watching the opening ceremonies just now in New Orleans, I realized how powerful the game has become, a national anthem in itself. Patriotic anthems were sung, and flags flown, and the drama of the players running out from the dark tunnel and into the bright stadium pulled us together as one nation. We grieved together too, as we remembered the fourteen recently slain. We play together. We compete together. We celebrate our nation together. And we mourn together.

In some ways the entire game is framed with ceremonial pageantry, rituals in which we act out our human yearning for order and grace and brotherhood. These men have trained their bodies and their minds to perform this dance. They disciplined their flesh to achieve what you and I cannot, and they disciplined their spirits to honor one another by honoring the rules of the game. We see mankind at its best.

Competition is a great motivator. It discourages sloth, appeases anger, celebrates something greater than what was before. To be the best, to achieve that one step that to the crowd in the bleachers seems impossible, is to celebrate humanity, body and soul.

We can see that here, on this field, and even when they pile upon one another like grade schoolers on the playground, we know they will soon stand back and follow the rules. As a mother and grandmother of boys, I wince, hoping no one is hurt, and yet I realize sometimes the stakes must be real, and we the watchers are pulled in as well.

And so the game mirrors our nation’s teams of citizens as they battle with ballots or in halls of Congress. It mirrors our nation’s military, our national team ready to fight other nations, to protect Americans, to keep us safe. For there will always be combat in this world, whether for power, or land, or food, or survival. It is “survival of the fittest” we are told by evolutionary theory. That is the human condition.

Into this world of charge and tackle enters the Prince of Peace. He does not do battle (although there were some tables overturned in the temple as I recall) but tells us to forgive seventy times seven. He says we don’t need to worry about tomorrow. He says to love one another.

This revolutionary messiah did not bring revolution, as we know, and yet the seeds of order and brotherly love were planted in the rich soil of Judaism, already honoring a code of civility. And thus in that first century came a new way of living together. The Way, as it was first called, would flower in Western Europe and the Mediterranean basin, scribbled by monks and taught on Sundays in sermons. This Way became Christianity, the child of Judaism, and built a culture of freedom and civility, protecting the weakest among us, women and children, honoring God and obeying civil authority. Parliaments grew and became true “talking institutions”, and these forms became congresses made up of elected citizens. Structures of civility forged democracies of thought and action and law and order.

America, like its mother, England, has beaten the odds of survival in our warring world. It is indeed an exceptional country, a city on a hill, a shining light. America says, “See, we did it. We did the impossible. We formed ways of living together, and while we fight one another, we honor the code. Our justice isn’t perfect. We are human. But we try and we do not lose sight of the ball as it travels down the field. We hold our flag high and honor our code of Mosaic mores and Christ’s commands. When we break those rules we expect punishment, for our country is one nation, all judged the same by our blind Lady Justice.

The players are now in a huddle, a bit like Congress, I suppose. They plan the next move. Now they are lined up ready for action. And after the action, we see the replay in slow motion, a ballet on grass. The ball is in the air after much scuffling and grabbing and halting and trying, again reminding me of the playground and perhaps Congress or our local school board.

And it is a playground after all. All of life is a playground not unlike this football game. We play our positions, keeping the goal in mind, following the rules. We hope the referee doesn’t whistle and judge us. It is our national sport and it provides catharsis as we see our own human condition civilized by order and design, a dance of body and soul.

This morning we heard about the wheat and the tares. Christ says he will burn the tares and collect the wheat. In the Epistle we are told to love and forgive one another. Just like football.

February Journal, The Presentation of Christ in the Temple, Fourth Sunday after Epiphany

This year the Feast of the Presentation of Christ lands on a Sunday, today, February 2, Epiphany 4, shining light on the act of the giving, of the presenting, of the offering of Christ to the world, indeed, to you and me (Luke 22+).

Mary and Joseph are fulfilling Jewish law, presenting their son to God. But what touches me about this story is Simeon and Anna, two prophets who have waited for the Messiah, fasting and praying, having been promised they would see the child before they died. When Mary and Joseph arrive with Jesus, Simeon knows immediately that his promise has been fulfilled.

Simeon’s response glorifies God and is a part of our Anglican Evening Prayer, so it is well known and often prayed by the faithful each evening. It is called the Song of Simeon and the Nunc Dimmitis, Latin for the first words of the canticle. Simeon knows this is the promised one and raises him up in his arms, praising God:

Nunc dimittis. St. Luke ii. 29, BCP 28
LORD, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word.
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,
Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;
To be a light to lighten the Gentiles, and to be the glory of thy people Israel.

And just so, in this scene, we see another epiphany, or perhaps many, as the Holy Child is recognized by the Jewish world and presented to the gentile world as a light to lighten their way. God offers his son to us, presents Him to each one of us, a great and holy gift.

We also learn that Anna “gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem.”

The presentation of Christ to the world is thus effected through the rituals of the time, uniting us with the Judaic history back to Moses, connecting us with this offering in the temple, bringing that past into our present, to become part of the Christian year on February 2.

This presenting, this ultimate epiphany of Jesus Christ, the Messiah, dramatizes this glorious, momentous, event for all the world. The world has been prepared with the choosing of the People of God, the People of Israel, and their journey through time to this moment. And then the impossible becomes possible, God enters our world as a baby in a stable. The stars change course. Shepherds hear angels. Kings travel on camels to lay gifts at his feet. The world will never be the same.

And yet the presentation is also the offering of Our Lord to each one of us. Do we accept the gift of Love incarnate? Or are we ashamed to confess the faith of Christ crucified?

Light of the World, by Holman Hunt

I believe this offering never ends, at least in our lifetimes. He will knock again and again at the doors of our hearts. Some will not hear the knock. Some will hear it late and miss out on early glory. Some will open their hearts to the Lord of Hosts on the first knock, the first presentation.

And will those who invite him in celebrate his presence, sing him songs, love him as he loves us?

For when this happens, another amazing presentation happens. We turn about, and we make our own presentation of the Lord to others. We point to the child born in the stable, this salvation for all people, this light to lighten our way through this life and into the next. We raise him high as Simeon did, praising his mercy and grace.

Luke writes that “the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him.” When we accept this Savior of the world as our savior, we too will wax strong, be given wisdom and grace. We too will sing songs of thanksgiving and praise. We too will look for every chance to present him to others, to knock on the doors of their hearts.

Deo gratias.

January Journal, Second Sunday after Epiphany

January is a month of renewal and we are in the midst of many renewals and rebirths this weekend.

My novel in progress, The Music of the Mountain, seizes on these rebirths for it is set in the month of January 2023 with the floods, cyclone storms, and power outages of Northern California. In a way the story is baptized by these rains, and baptism indeed becomes a gateway to life, as our preacher said this morning. Baptism opens the door to salvation. Salvation doesn’t require baptism, but baptism makes the road to Heaven easier for each one of us.

Today’s Gospel account – the Baptism of Jesus by John – is chosen for the second Epiphanytide Sunday. For Epiphanytide shines light on the divinity of Jesus. St. Mark writes: “And it came to pass in those days that Jesus… was baptized of John in Jordan. And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit, like a dove, descending upon him: and there came a voice from heaven, saying, ‘Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.’ ” (BCP 112)

John prepared the way, preaching repentance, for renewal and rebirth cannot occur without facing the reality of our world, the reality of human nature. Just so, America has woken up from being “woke” and is facing the reality of what we have become in the past and what we must do to ensure the future. We rise from the waters to seek the light of truth, how best to govern in a fallen world, how best to protect the weak in a fallen world, how best to care for the aged and the unborn in a fallen world.

America has been given another chance at life, having been champions of death. This week we remember the millions lost to abortion since 1973, our lost children of light. We pray for our nation that she will see the holocaust and redeem the time. Our tears are real, our grief unending.

We rise from darkness to light, to the music of the mountain, to the harmonies of the spheres that govern the universe, the songs of the angels.

We look to history to learn the words of the songs of freedom. We speak the truth about mankind as best we can, and in doing so we learn how to heal one another, and in the healing we learn how to love one another as Christ loves us.

And as America rises to this new day, she will see the heavens open. She will see the Spirit descend upon her like a dove, the dove of peace, the dove of life, and she will glimpse God the Father once again.

America will once again cherish children, honor motherhood, support families, and enforce the law. She will judge with mercy and care for the poor.

Merit and character will be celebrated and awarded, regardless of race or ethnicity. She will be truly colorblind.

And so it is appropriate that the inauguration of this renewal of America will occur on the day honoring Martin Luther King. For King gave us a dream, saying, “I look to a day when people will be not be judged by the color of their skin but by content of their character.” 

God is writing straight with our crooked lines as he raises us from the waters of self, reminding us to love as we have been taught to love, following the commandments given to Moses and renewed by Christ as he walked among us two thousand years ago. For Our Lord continues to walk among us, in his Body, the Church, baptizing us again and again with sacrament and scripture and song. His Holy Spirit lives within us. We need merely see, hear, and obey to be renewed and reborn.

January Journal, First Sunday after Epiphany

Holy Family of Nazareth, Denise Gosselin Gravel, Iconographer

This year, Epiphanytide, swinging on the date of Easter, a moveable feast, runs a full five weeks. The longest it can be is six weeks, so we are close to hearing all of the lessons appointed for this season of light. Today, the first Sunday after January 6, Epiphany, the Gospel lesson reveals another revealing of the Christ Child, who he is and why it matters.

The story is told by Saint Luke, thought to have been particularly close to Mary, and thus this writer also gives us the main narrative of Christ’s birth. It touches me, as a mother, for we forever worry about our children. My son is fifty-two, and when I learned there were raging fires in Los Angeles on the day his plane was due to arrive from Bangkok (Wednesday) I doubled, no tripled, my worrying. The plane arrived safely and one day I will find out what he saw in those skies, but for now I am grateful he made his connection home to Denver, albeit in the middle of the night. It is moments like these that make me grateful for cell phones, messaging, and even FaceBook. How did we ever manage without instant communication?

But returning to the story in today’s Gospel, about the boy Jesus in the Temple. We are told he is twelve years old and goes missing, at least his parents cannot find him. When they do, they fuss over him asking what was he thinking going off like that. (Sounds familiar.) And of course he replies that he was about his “Father’s business.”

An epiphany. A light shines on Jesus and who he really is.

The story produced other epiphanies in my little brain. He was born a baby, a human baby, and would have grown as we all grow, learning from our environment. He must have absorbed the lessons of the local synagogue, the readings, the conversations, as he grew up, for he needed to know these things, the history and rituals of his people, their prophets, their challenges. And so he is drawn to the temple in Jerusalem when they visit for the Passover feast. Luke writes that they had gone there every year (!) as was the custom. And yet we only have this one account of Jesus questioning the rabbis.

Given the choices all writers make, I have often thought the Gospel accounts were carefully curated. When there is a feeding of five thousand, this is only one account of many feedings we do not hear about. The healings too are probably too numerous to list, both of soul and of body. How many did Christ the Lord raise from the dead?

And just so, Mary and Joseph most likely were challenged with the boy Jesus and his remarkable parentage and his ways of learning, led by his Heavenly Father, guided by the Holy Spirit. This was their twelfth Jerusalem Passover, but Jesus is now of an age – a precocious age as mothers know – when his mental and physical growth take new turns. We call it adolescence. They called it becoming a man.

Today we ponder our time on Earth, Jesus’s time on Earth, and the accounts we are given, so carefully and prayerfully written “for our learning.” We are told in the Collect for Advent II to “inwardly digest” the Word, Holy Scripture. For indeed, these accounts, historical accounts, are food for our souls. Scripture tells us what is important in life, what is good and what is bad. Scripture, and those who interpret these Holy Words for us, gives meaning to our time, meaning to our individual lives. These words set us on the right path, shining a light in the dark forest of our days.

I for one am glad and grateful, for with every lesson, new epiphanies reveal more glory here and now and then in Heaven and eternity. What we don’t know, what we don’t understand, doesn’t matter. What matters is in the pages of this book called the Holy Bible. What matters is what we do about these matters in our own lives.

Are we part of a church community, one that welcomes us on board to sail the seas of our time? For community is one of the pillars found in Holy Scripture – community that teaches us, feeds us, leads us through the rough waters. It is the church family that gives us the songs to sing, the prayers to pray, the eucharists to strengthen our hearts and souls.

The answers to life’s questions are here for the taking. We need only trust and obey as the old hymn goes. Looking for happiness? Trust and obey, for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

One of my grandchildren said she couldn’t find a church she liked. I suppose she thought there was a perfect one, just for her, as if she were at a buffet table, trying each dish. Alas, I told her, every church community is fallen, for it is made up of fallen men and women just like you and me. Find one close by and attend regularly. Be slow to judge and quick to forgive.

For without being a member of the community we call the Bride of Christ, the Church, we will die a slow death from spiritual starvation. We need to be fed, and this is where Christ is, feeding his sheep, caring for you and me. Don’t go it alone, or even imagine it is possible. Hermits are few and far between.

If you want to experience epiphanies of heart and soul, walk through those doors, take a seat, and sing with all your might. Pray prayers of repentance, prayers of petition, and prayers of thanksgiving. Listen and learn from the lessons read and the sermons preached. And do these glorious things with others, your new brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers. One day you will be in their shoes, and you will be given parish children, grandchildren, in your church family. One day you will open the doors for those outside who want to come inside, in from the cold, the damp, and the dark of our world.

One day you will see them from Heaven and you will hear the words, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Welcome home.” You will turn and see the Master, the one who questioned the rabbis in the temple and set our worlds in motion. And you will know the ultimate epiphany, Christ himself.

January Journal, Second Sunday after Christmas

My novel in progress, The Music of the Mountain, is set in the month of January 2023. It is a dark and stormy month, a time of short days and long nights. And yet January is a month of epiphanies, of new beginnings, of seeing what we didn’t see before. An epiphany is a sudden thought, a conclusion, an answer. January unveils these day by day, week by week.

But most of all, being the first month of the new year, time itself commands attention. What have we done or left undone in the past year? What do we regret? What would we do differently if we had the year to do over again? We make resolutions to be better.

It is unfashionable to admit fault, to judge oneself, to admit we are not all we should be. We are told that judgment is judged to be unkind, and above all, we must be kind to ourselves, looking for excuses, reasons why we didn’t love enough, circumstances that would send the judge and jury home for good.

Falling short of the mark hurts.

And so during Mass this morning I was glad to be reminded of my failings in the General Confession and the Absolution following. It is a crucial, cross-bearing reality, that we are human beings subject to moral law who will face God’s judgment one day, like it or not. I for one need reminding in this world of no fault, grievance, and victimhood.

And so we acknowledged and bewailed our manifold sins and wickedness we have committed by thought, word, and deed, provoking God’s wrath and indignation. We repent and are sorry. The burden is intolerable… we call on God for forgiveness.

It is good to be reminded of reality. It is good to repent on a regular basis after holding oneself up to the bright light of Heaven. In this way, we choose the best path to take in the new year. In this way we see ourselves as we are, not as we imagine, and allow God to carve away the darkness and bathe us in his light.

Today is the twelfth day of Christmas; tomorrow is the Feast of the Epiphany of the Lord. Epiphany, of course, is when the Magi or Wise Men arrive in Bethlehem, bringing gifts to the Christ Child. Epiphany, then, is the good news sung to the rest of the world, not just the shepherds and the holy family. We are included in this epiphany of light; we travel to the creche and kneel and worship too. We bring our gifts – ourselves. We too have followed the star in the heavens, wondering where it will lead. Could something so grand and cosmic as a star in the night sky shine upon the meager manger in Bethlehem? And yet angels appeared to the shepherds, the great choir singing to the lowly herders.

Christmas tells how the little becomes large, how flesh houses spirit. God becomes tiny and humble; kings follow a star and kneel before him.

To find answers to the human condition, the whys and the wherefores, look to the manger bed and see who kneels before the Christ Child. If kings and shepherds kneel, we can too. If they see, we can see too.

January is the month of the Holy Name of Jesus, so that we give the baby in the manger a holy glory by intoning his name, breathing the name, calling his name.

January is the month of life granted through this Holy Child, but it is also the month of death decreed with the slaughter of our own innocents through abortion. For half a century this month proclaims our grief, prays our petitions as we walk for life all across this nation.

The star is bright in the night sky as we embark on this year in time. We divide our time into months and days and hours, stepping through the squares on our calendars, trying to pay attention to each precious, passing minute. It is too much for our ashen earthiness, and so we take an hour on a Sunday to bundle the time into meaningful notes, and sing a melody of penitence, absolution, eucharistic feeding, and by the end of the hour we see epiphanies meant only for you and me.

We go to church for an hour each Sunday and kneel alongside the people of God, the bride of Christ. For in that humility, epiphanies are born, and we see again. We see the path laid out for us, at least for the next day and week, as we step into the woods of time, marking another year.

December Journal, First Sunday after Christmas

We are in the middle of Christmastide, those twelve glorious days of Christmas ending on Epiphany, January 6.

I have celebrated seventy-eight Christmases on this good earth. If I don’t remember each one, they remember me. 

With each year I have added another layer, another garment, to my Christmas past to create my Christmas present, which becomes indeed a yearly present presented to my heart, mind, and soul. The past does this to the present if we pay attention, or even if we don’t, for today’s Christmas is partly the memories of earlier ones and perhaps even the anticipation of ones to come.

Thus rituals and traditions color our world. We sing the same songs and add new ones. We decorate our homes as if a king were arriving, for indeed he is, and did arrive on Christmas Day. We turn earlier saints into messengers, and invite Saint Nicholas to gift us, arrive on the roof and come down through the chimney to place delicacies in our giant stockings hung with care in hopes he will be there. 

We build anticipation in the weeks before, trying to be good, greeting one another with holiday cheer, wearing holiday colors and hats and tees, singing about a reindeer named Rudolph with a red nose who was humble and then great, or so the story goes.

We prepared for Christmas by thinking of others, teaching our hearts to expand to include another in our thoughts and plans. We bake for them, give them gifts that are wrapped in bright paper with shiny and curly ribbon, so that the joy becomes even more special for it has been hidden, as Jesus is hidden in history and mankind’s retelling.

In these rituals we tell the story of God becoming Man and walking among us. The story is too fantastic to tell. It is too amazing to fathom. So we tell it in our preparations, in our humble human attempts to shine the light on the glory of God and the laughter of his love.

Like Our Lord, Saint Nicholas comes down from stary skies and gives us wonderful gifts. The gifts do not compare to the gift of Christ and Eternity, the gift of God and incarnation, the gift of life over death, joy over sorrow. They do not compare, but they remain our meager attempt to reveal Christmas, the birth of the Son of God, the Messiah, the long awaited one here to set us free from our own captivity of self.

And so we try to be like Saint Nicholas and give gifts and reflect Our Lord Jesus who gave himself to us.

And we try to be like the angels and sing to him in his manger. We sing of the miracle and mystery of that unlikely birth, we harken to the herald angels singing glory to the newborn king, we sing of a silent and holy night when away in the manger there was no crib for his bed, we tell of the little town of Bethlehem and what happened on that midnight clear when the glorious song of old was heard as angels touched their harps of gold, for Christ is born of Mary, and while mortals sleep, the stars proclaim the birth and peace to men on earth.

Indeed, the Prince of Peace, the Lord of Love of You and Me, was born that night over two thousand years ago, and today we sing carols layered upon earlier carols, as humankind tries to express the inexpressible with words and melody.

We teach our children the songs, so that they will teach their children. To help them remember, we dress them to play parts in a stable in Bethlehem. We clothe them with the story of the Christ Child. They act out the greatest story ever told, and each year they add to their own library of Christmas rituals and traditions.

And so I have been graced with seventy-eight years of Christmases. The time is rich and glorious and I wear a tapestried robe of many colors and notes and words. I live out what I have been given, a humble life of gilded mystery and miracle, for each day brings its own gifts of healing, seeing, hearing, being. Every minute is birthed by Christ. We breathe Christmas all year, birthing this Bethlehem child who births us.

We follow the star of Christmas and find ourselves at the cross of Easter. In this journey in time, we learn to love as God loves us, wrapping our hearts with the bright ribbons of Christ, to give ourselves to one another.

December Journal, Fourth Sunday in Advent

There is the silent hush of valley fog enshrouding our house today. The mute world waits, hoping for a sign. A sign of what? A sign of life, life everlasting, before and to come. A sign that we are more than flesh, more than animals on the hunt to survive.

I have long found it interesting that the Jewish world before Christ knew who humankind was and is, knew their identity and mission expressed in rituals and rules. They knew they were made in the image of God, their Creator. Just so, they treasured life, children, families. When they erred, their God called them back to Him and set them on the path to life.

The Greco-Roman world also knew that humankind was not mere flesh, but owned a spirit, a soul.

And so Jesus, the Son of God incarnate, was born into the Roman world, a Jew in the messianic lineage of David. The time was ripe for the two cultures to merge, for the Roman world gave the life-changing message of Christ the forum to broadcast the good news, the gospel. It is in the Roman Mediterranean basin that the first Christian churches would be planted, secretly in homes, then building upon the graves of the martyrs, celebrating eucharists over holy bones.

When Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea He synthesized these worlds, baptizing Rome with Jerusalem, and opening Heaven to all mankind. 

Today’s gospel tells of John the Baptist who prepares the way for Christ’s birth, life, death, and life. The great followings that John attracted would shift to Jesus of Nazareth, as our preacher pointed out today. The Baptist prepared the way. And what did he say that prepared the world for the Savior? What could he possibly say that would be enough? Repent, he said, make his way straight. And with baptism, each follower said yes, I will change and I will make the crooked straight in my life.

And so the way was prepared in the hearts of many.

William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905), Song of Angels (1881)

Just so Advent prepares each one of us to receive the Lord of Lords, to kneel with the shepherds and bring gifts with the kings, to fly with the angels into the starry night of Christmas, Christ’s Mass.

Christmas, full of giving and singing and sharing for a brief time, gives us a taste of glory, the glory of the angels, the glory of life itself, the glory in a newborn baby.

Christmas says you needn’t be great or rich or powerful. In fact, it is better if you are lowly, poor, and powerless. Christmas says look at the baby and sing to him. Thank him. Love him. Invite him into your heart.

As Christina Rosetti wrote in her lovely Christmas sonnet, “What can I give him? I give him my heart.”

May we all experience the glory of the love of God this week, this sacred and holy time, when Christ Jesus came among us, bringing us life here and now, and forever in Eternity.

Come Lord Jesus, come.